Green Envy

BASED ON A TRUE STORY. How do I even begin? I’d put funky color in my hair before, mostly red tips and blue peek-a-boo highlights. But my favorite color is green, so naturally I wanted green hair. Bad life choice. My hairdresser misunderstood what I wanted done and it resulted in a lot more trouble than hair is ever worth. So! Enjoy my misery, which has been dramatized for entertainment purposes in the following lines.


“I’m so excited to see how it turns out.” Lizzy smiled up at her hairdresser, Mady, as she rinsed her freshly dyed hair. “I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks. I’m happy I finally saved up enough money to do it.”

Smiling, Mady covered her client’s head with a towel and raised the back of the chair. “I’m happy you decided to branch out. I’ve been dying to dye your hair for years. Get it?” Lizzy rolled her eyes. Laughing at the expression Mady pulled the towel away with a dramatic flourish, revealing the finished product to her client.

Lizzy’s face fell from beaming to dumbstruck. “Why is it green?” She asked. “Why is it green?” Her voice cracked as shock quickly turned to horror.

Mady’s own smile fell. “You wanted it green.”

“But not this green!” Lizzy shakily poked her emerald locks. “It’s green. Really, really green. I didn’t even want this much done!”

“You said you wanted it to fade in,” Mady tried to argue her case.

“I wanted just the tips,” Lizzy took a deep breath, tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes. Mady fought down her own panic as the deep silence of an unsatisfied hair style suffocated the room. “Ok, no, you know what?” Mady quickly swiveled the chair around. “We can fix this, no problem.”

“My hair is green!” Lizzy shrieked. “How do you fix that?”

Many phone calls, comforting words, and wine from a secret stash later Lizzy was calm enough to work with. An hour later Mady found herself staring down into the hateful eyes of her client as she rinsed her hair for the second time. “If this doesn’t work, I’m calling the city and having your license revoked.” Mady nervously swallowed and raised the back of the chair. Spinning Lizzy, letting the towel slide to the floor, she held her breath.

Lizzy turned her head left then right. “It’s nice.”

“It’s you natural color.” Mady stated.

“And it’s nice, right?”

“Of course.” She agreed.

“Don’t ever change it again.” Standing from the chair Lizzy walked to the counter to pay for the trouble. Trying to massage out her headache Mady followed quietly, wondering once again why she thought working with hair would be fun.         


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