Pharmacy Times (based on a true story)

My coworkers filled up every available seat around the break-room table, chatting about this and that concerning their lives over lunch. Tuning into each conversation at random I caught the tail-end of something promising. “What was that?”

“Destiny?” Joanie asked. “She was crazy!”

“Go on,”

“Oh, she used to work here before you,” Joanie took a bite of her sandwich. “I was just remembering how she got fired.”

“What happened?” I pressed, knowing a good story when it dangled in front of me. My insistence caught the attention of the others and soon the room fell quiet, waiting.

Joanie sighed, pretending to be reluctant; but she set aside a fork and knife in favor of voice, clearly not too reluctant to be the center of attention for a moment or two.

“Destiny was a young girl of about twenty seven. She was nice but didn’t know how to keep her mouth shut. Genuinely a nice girl, but she could run her mouth faster than a jet plane. She was dating this guy, well, more like fooling around really. He had an actual girlfriend on the side you see, but Destiny could care less. When the girlfriend found out about the cheating, as she was bound to eventually, she called Destiny during work and they proceeded to bitch each other out over the phone for a half hour. Later we found out that night Destiny snuck over to this girl’s house and poured sugar in her gas tank. The next day Destiny calls her up and tells her she was the one who did it! Oh yes, the lack of brain cells starts to really come into play here. The arguing, more like screaming really, match between the two over this boy carried on for a whole ‘nother week. Finally Destiny told this girl she would fight her anytime, anywhere. She told her where she worked and said to meet her in the parking lot the dumb ass! Our manager at the time of course knew what was going on and warned her not to bring personal issues onto work property or she would be fired. After some talking Destiny agreed to handle her business elsewhere. The next day another girl who used to work here was walking out to her car and saw Destiny getting her ass kicked in the parking lot by a girl twice her size. Running to her car past the fight she called the manager, who was still in the building. Destiny was fired the next day.”

“Wow,” I said.

“Like I said,” Joanne took another bite of her sandwich. “Nice girl, she just couldn’t watch her mouth.”

“Moral of the story?” I asked.

“If you’re going to fight over a man, which is a useless thing to fight over really, do so down a long deserted gravel road in the dead of night with no witnesses.”

“That doesn’t seem like a great alternative.”

“Least you won’t get fired.”


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